Everything is taken care of. I know you think that it isn’t, that there is a “you” that has to take care of all these things, from everything as basic as securing food and paying the rent or mortgage, to creating positive relationships with others, being nice or even being hard, and basically behaving in whatever your idea of a respectable or acceptable way is but just bluntly NO. There is really nothing that “you” can do other than whatever it is that “you think” that you are doing. Even after you ‘see” that there is no you, you are not in control of anything. Nothing is up to you. There isn’t one.
Whatever you think you are seeing is what you are supposed to be seeing. Maybe, now that you know that there is no you, you just sit there, well it could happen, then that’s fine you just sit there for a time, but odds are you are going to get bored and want to get up after awhile, not necessarily but in all likelihood. So now you get “an idea”, listen this is not “your idea”, you aren’t choosing your thoughts like you thought you were and maybe, depending on where you are at in your development, the conditioning will step in and say, “there’s no way I can do that”, or “I’d like to but it’s impossible, things like that aren’t in my options.” If it’s an idea that’s coming from consciousness you can trust that if it resonates with your sense of well being and dreams you would just love to dream, go with that, things will actually align in with it. Whether or not it happens isn’t the point, the point is that you are moving along with the flow of consciousness to go where ever it is that it wants to go. You don’t know where you are going because you can’t know that. You aren’t going anywhere anyway. When you don’t know, when you don’t even want to know, you can relax, you just don’t need to know, that’s how the magic gets in. The very acceptance of not knowing opens the door that you really want to open. It is the door of unlimited possibilities, not things that “you” can do or plan or achieve, forget about “you”, again, there isn’t one and even if there was if you could see what it was made of you would take a torch to it anyway.
So what’s happening in my dream? I’m back to work at the casino. The night before last I was just laying in bed doing Jed’s breathing thing and for some reason I just kept doing it, all thoughts finally stopped and the focus on the feeling the breathing was creating continued on it’s own for more than an hour or maybe two I don’t really know. I was just there. Then, I fell asleep for a couple hours and that was the end of my sleep for the night. I woke up at three am and stayed awake enjoying my dream for the rest of the day. At six am I went to the gym with my oldest son and rebounded basketballs for him for four hours, not an ounce of fatigue in me then we came home (he drove, looks like he wants to get his license too now so he can drive himself to the gym without being dependent on me to get up after my late night at work, another nice development for me, uninterrupted sleep when it’s needed) Then I made smoothies and lunch for everyone. After that I took a 45 minute nap, it was going to be longer but my daughter called and said she was ready to come home so I started looking at airline tickets, then I found some and then she said she changed her mind and sent me a screen shot of how her sister texted her that she loved her (beautiful) then I watched a live stream with A.H. Almaas of the Diamond Approach because I just love this guy, his presence is like a jolt to my system, I’m not all that interested in what he says just feeling being in his presence is all I’m after. After that I went jogging and walked the dog. The day was warm, the sun was out, I felt grateful to have a body that can move the way it does. The whole world just felt so right. I forget about the unpaid bills, all the catching up to do after being unemployed, listen there aren’t any bills anyway, just another stupid appearance in the collective dreaming going on. Then I went to work, not caring about anything. I drive to work seeing the sky and the birds flying overhead from time to time, I am crying, I am so happy, I am in love with being in the love that is all there really is. I worked my whole shift, tips were typical nothing over the top, just what I need to get by, all good, toward the end of the night, exhaustion sets in and I make it home and pass out immediately as soon as my head hits the pillow. I wake up after five hours sleep ready to start another day, renewed, refreshed. There doesn’t seem to be a hair out of place, just relaxation as far as the eyes can see. Another typical day in the life of this ordinary dream character, a life not much unlike other lives on the surface of appearance, but deep down within, every moment such gratitude for just some simple things, like going jogging and walking again, sitting here writing in this bedroom, the taste of a cup of coffee, a run to the store to buy a few items, a pineapple, a couple avocados and a cucumber for my salad later, some cookies for the boys and a bag of my son’s favorite chips, nothing special except that it’s all special. My daughter snapchats me on my way home, she’s at her oldest sister’s house hanging out with her four year old niece, simple times how easily we overlook it all in favor of some fantasy of grandeur. Just for once, stop trying to get somewhere else.
We do not even taste the water anymore. Now everyone is slamming down eight cups of water a day, let me tell you, you don’t even need that much water, you just need to know that you are actually drinking something amazing called water. Hell, you are the water. There you are cutting up an avocado for your salad, maybe you don’t like them but I do, I’m looking at this plant, can you notice what an incredible thing it is, how it tastes, avocados are fucking amazing, same with a banana but no one sees it. Same with you, same with the illusion of that other being walking down the street in front of your very eyes, sitting across from me at the blackjack table, what miracle has happened to make this dream appear? To make your eyes to see these shapes, to hear these voices, this music, ah the music, I’m partial to the music, just can’t get enough of it. What about the appearance of your legs that carry you across the room or on a walk, your arms and your hands so you can cut up the avocado and put it in your mouth, what about the taste your mouth delivers, deliciousness and then maybe your stomach, feels nice to have some food in there. How about the bed you get to crawl into at night, the feel of the pillow and the blanket, the comfort of closing one’s eyes and the drowsiness that slips you off to dreamland, lets you check out and holds you safely through the night? Or a hot bath or shower? How it feels washing the days dust off of you? So many things, right there in front of you every moment of the day, my child, talking to me, what makes his mouth move, what thoughts are able to be expressed by him and heard by me. No, nobody is noticing these things, everyone is focused on what words, are they the “right” words not the fact that there are words. So many things are the gifts, all amazing wonders and there you are worried about your silly job, and the silly bills, what calamity tomorrow might bring, listen there is no tomorrow, not one anywhere to be found. There is not even another moment to be found, this is the only one, this is all there is.
Maybe a nice thing to do is just sit or lie down, just sit there or lay there in yourself, feel the chair or bed or floor or whatever you are resting on holding you, supporting you completely. Maybe then you can have the nice thought, this is good, this is enough, wherever you think you are, whatever you think is going on, just be right there, and feel how you aren’t the one holding anything up, that there’s really nothing that needs to be held onto by you or anyone else, that it all is just fine all by itself. There isn’t a you that has anything to do with any of it anyway, so you know just let it be what it is. There’s nothing for you to do about anything anyway, whatever comes just comes, and then it goes. Never forget that one thing, coming and going, appearing and disappearing, constantly, everything just passing by, never staying the same. I’d say just relax, totally relax, nothing is happening so why stress over anything? If there’s something that you are supposed to “do”, some action to take, you will take it but you don’t have to “think” about what that might be. The whole “thinking game” is just a weight you don’t need. Nothing is up to you, you aren’t doing it, not then, not now, not ever. There are no important things at all anywhere. It simply will be what it will be, appear the way it appears and that’s all it is.
There’s literally nothing to accomplish, nothing to fail or succeed at. Nothing is good or bad at all, I wish I could make you see that. I wish I could make you see that no one is more or less than anyone else. All it is, all you have ever thought you were was just a thought that got planted in your mind, even the thought that you had a mind was planted there by whatever dream you dreamed. It’s not serious at all so just scrap it. There is nothing to be but what you always already have always been. Who cares if you are the only one who sees it? If someone is meant to see it they will see it but there’s nothing for you to do about anyone or anything. Even if you wanted to do something, it’s not up to you. It feels tricky but it’s not. It’s the simplest thing in the world to just be what you are. Being something else is hard. Why be something else when you are all that is already? Forget about what other people say and do, they don’t even know about it. All you really have is people walking around appearing in the only way their conditioning allows them to appear. They are all deluded, well so what? It’s the way it is, it’s the way of the dream to appear the way it does, just a little show, might as well just enjoy it.
It’s all taken care of. One day or night, not so long from now, it will all be over and you will just slip right on over out of this dream. And nothing, I tell you nothing, will ever have mattered in the least. It will all be forgotten as everything is. So you know you can let go now, just hand it all over, completely surrender the whole damn thing, this life that you think you have you don’t have it. It’s not yours, not up to you at all, it is just all that is and you know it’s wonderful. The whole thing is just utterly fantastic. Even a drive in a car is fantastic, fucking amazing development in the dream, there you are floating through space watching a landscape fly by, and going from one picture to the next. Maybe drive to the woods, see how that looks, see how the picture is always changing. The sounds are always changing, all the songs that have ever been played are it. If they are playing they want to be heard so maybe just listen, just really listen and know that you and the song are the same thing. That it is all you. The bird is you. The tree is you. The elephant is you. The waterfall is you. Even the cockroach is just you. Someone told you the cockroach is a nasty thing, yeah I don’t like them, I don’t have any here, but I’ve been places where I’ve seen them, I’m probably not going to get over not wanting to be near cockroaches, you know I don’t think my conditioning regarding cockroaches is going to change in this lifetime but who knows? It’s not up to me.
In the end, what more do you want? Maybe, you think you want to be special but who is there to be special? Even the guru’s aren’t special, no they are just laughing because they know that you think they are but what they really know is that they are not. There’s isn’t anybody there. No one and no thing is any more special than the totality of what there is which is just this which is all pretty damn special if you ask me. No one thing is special, nothing is apart from anything to be separated out as special. So you know, you get over it. Everything is one, no difference at all between anything anywhere. All that is is awareness, what’s it’s aware of makes no damn difference, no up, no down, no here, no there, no good, no bad, no nothing, no thing.
Well, the joke really was on you, if you wanted to be special, you should have stayed in the dream but it’s a little late for that now. All you can do now is ask yourself this question, “With no one home, just who would you be special to anyway?’ All you have is a bunch of imaginary dream characters who are only made up of and running off the random script that they got stuck with. To be special to them, is to just go along with, some how fit your own dream character in alignment with theirs, well why not, except one problem here, kind of a big one, you aren’t the doer, whatever you think that you are doing isn’t being done by anything called “you.” So if it happens that you find yourself some nice company in the dream, it’s all good, but it was never up to you. Whatever you think is happening is just some more dreaming.
Well, when it’s all said and done, dream away, that’s the only thing to do here anyway. Go ahead and dream big too, you might as well because there’s nothing to lose and maybe now you know it. Listen, I know you don’t get it. I didn’t get it either, just couldn’t really wrap my head around it all. I said I got it. I said you know I get it but then when I really did get it it was a completely different animal. You have to consider this, but not just say it but to take it all the way, to drop down to the very bottom and heart of the matter, what I’m about to say is a game changer. It’s not about believing though, it’s about a much bigger word and that word is “knowing” and here it is.
In all your life, you have never done anything wrong. You are not to blame for a single thing, not even the slightest gesture, nothing, not a word of it. I know you think those are nice words, but really, how would you feel if you knew that they were true? That it was true? That there was never anything there to do or say anything. That it was never up to a “you” at all. What kind of emotion and freedom would come over you? It’s easier to let all the other people off the hook, but to absolutely absolve yourself of all blame is really to know that “the truth really will set you free.” And when you extend this one thing to yourself, it automatically like a nuclear bomb explodes and annihilates the history of blame, worry, and concern to the whole of all that’s ever been or ever will be. Gone. To set yourself free is to free the world then finally, you can let it all be as it is and just enjoy the show from the only seat in the house worth viewing it from, your own open heart.
by Sandra Anne